just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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