BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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