There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
