I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
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Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
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Drinking loves me for WHO I am
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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