Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
