You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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