so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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