I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
