i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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