apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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