It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
