i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Dignity is for republicans.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Randomize
