ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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