my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize