Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
