I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
