Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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