is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
