My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
