i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
