First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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