I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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