Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
