the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
