Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
