did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
