Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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