My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
