My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
