I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
