I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Buhtt sex?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
