Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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