I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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