WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize