even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
