i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
