it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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