I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
