plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We're too hungover to prance.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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