Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
