dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize