I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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