I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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