Farmville is her only friend.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
