Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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