you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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