so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
