I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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