Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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