My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
