so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My cat gives me a boner
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
