Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
