Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
