dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
