Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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