Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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