Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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