i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
if only i could text you this smell
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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