I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
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