I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
In America we eat man semen.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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