i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
