dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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