Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
