You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
