Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
