it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
