it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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